Teaching A Crackhead Affiliate Marketing

I know you’re probably thinking “what the f*** kind of heading is that?”, but bare with me for a few minutes here.  I was laying in bed last night (more like 5 a.m. this morning) pondering on different topics to write about that would make my future readers think, have a few laughs, and walk away with some useful content, and then it hit me – what if I took a crackhead off the streets of downtown Toronto and gave them some kind of incentive (food and crack) to work towards while incorporating an affiliate campaign into the mix?

It’s practically genius, I know.

After several side-splitting scenarios played back in my head, I finally managed to calm down and focus in on what would be an absolute eye opener to anyone brave enough to stop by or bookmark this post.  Think of it this way – a crackhead is desperate, driven, and ruthless when it comes to getting their fix.  Crackheads will do anything necessary to reach their end goal; a big, smoking hot rock of crack-cocaine.  In my experience, crackheads can be very persuasive and often resort to selling their story to the passer-by’s in order to obtain loose change or cigarettes.  They are the salesmen of the streets! I can’t count the amount of times I’ve heard hey man, I just got robbed by two cops and they took my bus fare.  Can you spare some change?  I really need to get back to the Neverland Ranch because Bubbles needs his medication, and Michael specifically sent me to retrieve it.  Can you help me out?

If I took 3-5 crackheads off the streets and set them up with a desk and a laptop computer and told them whoever got the most traffic and clicks to these particular links would get a hot meal, a shower, and 50 percent of the combined earnings, what do you think would happen? I would have a kick ass campaign going!  Why?  Because their ultimate objective would probably be the cash – because cash equals crack.  If it’s been a few days since the last time they smoked up they’d be fairly desperate to get a hot pipe to their lips, and this would be the perfect time for me to step in with a solution.  Pretty twisted right?  But I’m sure you are getting my point.

Most people who enter the world of affiliate marketing have nothing to loose.  They are fed up with the nine to five, or have lost their day job and hit rock bottom – like myself a 6 months back.  They are scared but determined to find a better life for themselves and their loved ones, by any means necessary.  A common crackhead shares these feelings as well.  They have lost everything and therefor have nothing to lose.  They are determined to find a better high for themselves, which in a completely delusional manner will solve all their problems.  If you knew there was a way out, whether a business opportunity or drugs, wouldn’t you do whatever it took to make it happen?

Very few people who enter the world of affiliate marketing break the $1000/month threshold.  Is it because they don’t have what it takes?  Or simply that they aren’t desperate enough, and expect things to happen with little or no effort.  Whatever the case may be,  I would suggest taking the time to evaluate what your goals are before you get started.  Buy a whiteboard and start to lay down your game plan ahead of time.  Whenever you have an idea, write it down and don’t be afraid to follow through.

To be successful at anything in life you have to know why you’re doing it, and what you expect to get out of the experience.  There must be some form of inspiration behind your actions in order for results to be produced.  If you lost your job today, the job that you absolutely despise, what path would you take?

1. You could immediately take a position at a competitor and resume your 50 hour workweek down the path of insecurity and denial.
2. You could completely give up, and go head first into self destruction and despair – sharing a dumpster with your local crackhead.
3. Or you could begin your new life.  Take the leap with confidence knowing that no matter what happens, it could be worse.  Make a list of things that make you happy, and do whatever it takes accomplish every point on that list.  Do things which excite you and don’t ask for permission, because it is much easier to ask for forgiveness later.

Please understand that my topic or post was not meant in anyway to glorify the use of hard drugs.  I’m sure we all know somebody who has fallen down that hole, and may or may not have reached the surface.  I simply wanted to make a point regarding the level of desperation we reach as humans, and if we are focused enough we CAN accomplish anything we put our minds to.

If I did have crackheads for employees though, I would name my company CrackWeb LLC. 🙂

Cheers,

Elijah